Saturday, 23 November 2013

Term 4 Written Language

WALT write a character description of a person we know very well.
We know we have achieved this when we …
-    have written about the person’s physical appearance (the way they look).
-    have written about the person’s behaviour (how they speak or act).
-    have written about how they affect other people (what do they do to make you notice them).
-    have written about the person’s environment and belongings.
-    used descriptive words to make a picture in the mind of the reader

My Dad by Spencer King

My dad’s name is Mike. He has black hair. He likes going hunting in the woods. He is 43. I don’t know how he does it but he makes me laugh with a funny look. On his hair he has a little bit of grey. I think my dad secretly plays my video game when I am asleep so I keep an eye on him. Sometimes he plays my video game and when I get up he puts it on his racing car video game and expects me to be fooled. Sometimes I am fooled. It is very mysterious but I don’t care that much anyway. It is a little funny and weird so I know my dad. I exited out of his video game and it was on my video game so I said “Dad!”
My dad is a medium sized adult. He lives at Lancewood Drive. He owns a red olden day car, owns guns and clothes and a house, and a room and a big back yard with two lawnmowers. He also has a garden shed.

Try to stick to the topic as you write. You went a little away from the description of your dad and started to write about yourself, but returned to the description near the end.
Well done for beginning most of your sentences in different ways.
Next steps:

You could add more details about the olden day car, his clothes and the house. What about the lawnmowers? How large are they? And the back yard? What is in it that connects to your dad?

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